Google search “Zachary Logan” and you won’t find the artist I’m going to be talking about today. You’ll most likely find a Zachari Logan, a very talented Canadian artist who happens to draw a lot penises with astounding detail. Today’s “little” rant isn’t about that Zachari Logan and his amazing cock drawing abilities, but rather the Zacary Logan who helped me not only decide that it was time for me to leave the artistic community behind, but also helped show me why “blue collar,” everyday chumps particularly hate artists. Artists who, while not even appearing during a regular 3-page Google search, decide that a print of their artwork is worth 200$ (which, by this non-dick drawing Zach’s own admission is about 8% of what he actually charges for the original, making that equal 812.50$… Though by his math it some how comes to 1200$). Artists who say the reason they charge so much for prints is because they are, or should be, considered “fine art” (and not doodles as he claimed my “artwork” was). Artists who perfected the art of being cunts in a field where talent and ability should reign over prices, not false markets and glad-handing.
Alright, Google… I dunno, Ansel Adams. Different medium, i know. Non-Dick Zachary is more of a drawing type of artist, while Ansel is a photography artist. But that shouldn’t matter because both are considered to be “fine art,” right?
No, no, go ahead. I’ll wait…
Let me guess, you’ve found a shit ton of information about Ansel Adams, right? A wiki page, http://www.anseladamns.com, reviews, galleries, ect, in seconds; but still, after going all the way back to page 10 on Google, i can’t seem to find anything about the Zachary Logan (not Zachari Logan, who loves drawing marvelous dicks, but Zachary Logan who charges 200$ per print). The only way i actually found anything out about him online was when he mass added hundreds of people on Instagram in hopes that they would follow him back, which in turn he would unfollow them immediately afterwards and thus inflating his Follow to Followed ratio, making it appear as if he had some level of internet credibility. It was then, after using his instagram handle, that i was able to find his barely used Twitter account, his YouTube channel with only 180 subscribers, and his Etsy page (which now has absolutely nothing for sale). Because of this, i prodded and then kind of forced an online confrontation between him and I, which ended with me essentially leaving the art community for good.
Here’s how it happened:
While scrolling through Instagram a few years back i noticed i had a new follower. It wasn’t something new at the time, i was steadily posting new artwork almost daily and every new picture usually snagged a follower here and there. Unlike most users (the ones from the Artistic Community, for example), for each new follower i would take the time to check out their instagram page and decide if i would follow them back or not. If they had cool artwork i would follow them back, if they didn’t i wouldn’t bother (it was even stated on my instagram: “I’m here to find other artists. If you just post pictures of your face don’t bother following me”).
So, like always, i scanned over the new follower’s page, and honestly i really admired some of the work non-dick drawing Zachary Logan had presented. A lot of it was geometric patterns and psychedelic shapes; the kind of stuff you’d want to stare at during a weak-hitted acid trip when you were trying to decide if you could feel it or not. Seeing as i never turned down any attempts to swindle… er, trade for new art pieces, I almost automatically offered up an art-for-art trade with him and he agreed, though he wanted to see what i had to offer first (meaning he never actually visited my Instagram page, he just followed me so i’d follow back).
Eventually he selected a piece of mine that he liked (one that i, at the time of writing this, have traded away for dick a tattoo). Then i selected a piece of his art i liked, a piece he titled “Mandala One” (very clever, you fucking hippie). He declined the offer stating that “it isn’t a doodle” in comparison to my piece; do i picked another one, and again i was met with the same reply, only he added that he would be willing to sell it to me. I asked for the price and he said it was $65. I trade-haggled him down, offering 30$ as well as my piece that he liked, which was fine until i realized he was trying to sell me a print in exchange for one of my originals with money to boot. When i asked why he was charging so much for an 8×8 print he started going on about the cost of supplies, the time it took to make it, and so on, which, at the time, i could get behind. But then he added something that really irked me: “Price per print is 8% the cost of originals.”
X is the cost of the original. If 65$ over X equals 8 over 100, then that must mean that X = $812.50. “$812.5 for an original!?” – I more or less asked him. He replied as followed:
Seriously, click the picture and read what he said.
There were a few words exchanged on other instagram posts. Neither he nor i took a relatively civil approach in how we handled our interaction, but in the end i wished him luck and went away. Then, when other folks started chiming in, our disagreement mysteriously vanished from his Instagram page, where as only my comments remained on my page. I realized he was trying to erase how cunty he was, and i immediately unfollowed him and then went about my business (stalking his instagram). I could have left well enough alone, but his attitude just bugged me, and the whole “…at a higher price it means the product is more rare…” sat on the tip of my tongue like a herpes sore.
I just couldn’t help myself, i had to stalk him a bit more.
During this time he placed a new piece up on his Etsy account, his piece called “Mandala One” (the one i wanted). It was a “limited” print, meaning he only had $15 bucks to make 10 gloss copies at Kinkos, but he set the price at 200$ for an 18×18 print… Ooooh, but it also came with a CDR filled with camping trip photos he took during the “artistic process.” Still, using his 8% rule on his limited print releases, a normal person, using the numeric and mathematical system we all believe is truly universal, would surmise that the original of this piece would sell for $2500. But by his math it came to $2900 (somewhere got confused and added an extra 400$ to the cost of his original. Maybe that’s what it costs to transfer iPhone photos to a CDR in Canada).
The description of the print notes that it is printed on “acid free” paper (which almost all print paper is acid free paper) and it had taken him more than 100 hours to complete. I’ll say it took him 101 hours, because normally when people say “more than *blank* number value,” it’s usually because the MORE THAN of that number is just an arbitrary fraction or decimal and not a significant number.
Alright now, let’s break this down a little bit more. So if he charges $200 for a print, that would come to 2500$ (using his whole 8% rule), add in his weird extra 400$ Canadian iPhone picture transfer fee, and that makes $2900. Now, if that took him 101 hours to make, that means he believe his artistic ability is worth… $28.71(ish) an hour!? (interrobang). Alright, i know forgot to factor in cost of supplies (8$ for Sakura Micron Pens, the same ones i use, and perhaps some enemas so he could cram some more of his own cum up his ass).
I was absolutely outraged, and none of my art friends could understand why. It was like the idea of charging so much seemed to be common place. “This guy isn’t a doctor,” i tried to explain to them, “he isn’t an engineer, he isn’t even a goddamn GCRTA bus driver (though that would have explained why he was such a cunt). He doesn’t use a paint brush and costly oil paints on an expensive canvas, he’s not internationally, nationally, or even locally renowned. He doesn’t use color, all of his pieces are essentially repetitive patterns that could be duplicated over and over with the use of a compass, a ruler, and a goddamn Squiggle Wiggle pen.” Yet, with all of this, they agreed in the belief that his talents were worth over 25$ an hour… And so does every other piece of shit who calls themselves an “artist.”
These artists, these creeps who artificially inflate their prices, these bastards who pander to bourgeois cocktail cunts who pretend they’re substantially cultured, these pieces of shit are the reason “blue collar” fucks cringe every time they hear someone call themselves an “artist” and try to define their work with some deeper, hidden meaning than just a nice picture to look at. It isn’t because blue collar fucks don’t get it or appreciate that you can put pen-to-fucking-paper and draw something. They cringe because when they’re putting in their all to make 15$ an hour just so they can feed their family and their way of life is looked down upon like some primitive, uncultured existence; artist cunts draw fucking pictures to feed their fucking ego and demand to be paid thirteen dollars more an hour. That’s why blue collar fucks hate artists!
Art is a labor of love, a different love than feeding ones family, but equally as potent. Art is hobby, a hobby some people can make a decent dollar off of doing. But Artists just need to stop acting like Medieval Age Alchemists with their snake-oil salesmen routine when it comes to explaining why they’re art is so meaningful and special, allowing them to establish gouging prices. Sure, you can draw some fancy shapes, but you aren’t worth that much in the scheme of things, especially if i search for you on Google and only find a better artist who happens to love drawing dicks.